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Why saying No will be the strongest comment you will make


Hands up, if you're a people pleaser and have this overwhelming fear of disappointing people?



Me!


At the time, you don't realise the damage you are doing to your self worth, your mental health and your inner peace.

You ignore the tired signs, the exhaustion and the empty feeling you know you need to listen to, but you keep going, because you're a good girl and you never question what's expected of you.


Then you burn out, you resent people, have a massive attitude problem and seek silence away from everyone and everything.


(sound familiar?)


The best plan of attack to correct this mindset and reclaim your power, is to set boundaries.

Now, it's not as easy as making that decision and off you go. You need to really think about the feelings behind the boundary, and why you simply can't accept that behaviour anymore.


For me, I really had to dig deep, and with the help of my master mindset coach Emily Chadbourne (www.emilychadbourne.com) was taught to rewire my thinking, my self worth and what I really wanted from this precious life.


  1. Decide which behaviour either you project or you receive, really robs your patience, your energy and causes frustration. For me, I needed to stop saying Yes to make everyone else's lives easier. People seemed to feel ok with leaving me their work to finish off, tidy up and do, without acknowledging that it was my work. So, I stopped arranging meetings. Stopped reminding and nagging people "have you done this yet", or, "do you want me to....." I worried about myself, my vision and what I was doing with my career/business. Be prepared though, for people to turn on you and make you out to be the bad guy. Stay strong, stay with the boundary and keep moving forward. It's their problem to deal with, and they're behind you for a reason.

  2. Guilt! Oh the guilt. Don't cave in. Fill that feeling and time with meditations, podcasts and your vision. You're going to have to take the higher road and just focus on you. For such a long time, I had to play nice and it jarred everything I was feeling. So I changed tactic. Corporate life taught me many things - playing the game was a skill I've learned to master. Smile, say Hi .... and walk away. Don't engage. Don't overshare. Don't give them a chance to reclaim that energy you took back. Eventually, you drift towards your plan and everything works out.

  3. It's ok to have days that are hard and suck. It's ok to have moments when you want to scream and cry (sometimes all at the same time!) You do you hun - that's what your family want.


Remember, you've come so far, you've worked out your triggers and your new path. That's more than most people are willing to do. Protect that boundary and energy with you life! It's your job to now hire and fire as you need to keep your evolution growing. Eventually those behind you will either fall away, or clap in admiration.